What does it mean to be pro se? Pro se is a Latin term meaning to represent oneself in a legal proceeding. In certain circumstances, it makes sense to represent yourself in a family law dispute. If retaining an attorney will create more financial strain than the issues being litigated, you may decide not to hire an attorney. Or, if the issues being litigated are not complex, you may feel comfortable representing yourself. People decide not to retain an attorney in their family law dispute for a variety of reasons, and self-representation is common in family law. If you have decided to represent yourself in a family law matter, there are several things to consider before scheduling or attending a family law mediation without attorney representation.
First: Understand the law. In most initial family law mediations, you will likely be addressing one of five categories of issues known by the “PEACE” acronym: parenting, equitable distribution, alimony, child support, and everything else (fees, taxes, name change, transfers, obligations to act). The first place to start when educating yourself about Florida Family Law is to look at the statutes. Chapter 61 is the chapter of Florida law that addresses dissolution of marriage and many aspects of a paternity action. Chapter 742 addresses the establishment of paternity and related issues. Starting your research with a review of current law is critical, as there is a lot of misinformation and out-of-date information online and you do not want to attend a mediation with a wrong assumption about your legal rights, exposure, and responsibilities.
Section 61.075, addresses equitable distribution of assets and liabilities and explains what is considered marital and non-marital in a divorce. Section 61.08 addresses requests for alimony. Section 61.13 addresses support of children, parenting, and time sharing. In addition to reviewing the applicable laws, it is often helpful to have a consultation with a family law attorney. Whether you meet with an attorney who offers free consultations or charges for a consultation, the investment of time and/or money to get direct input on your situation is almost always worthwhile. Do some research online; review the Florida Supreme Court Family Law forms to see what information is required to complete a parenting plan, a financial affidavit, and a marital settlement agreement. Talk to friends about their own family law experiences, but make sure you do not set unreasonable expectations for your own situation by assuming your case will turn out how your friend’s case resolved.
Second: Educate yourself on the particulars of your unique situation. Once you have become knowledgeable on the areas that will be addressed in your family law mediation, you need to gather as much information in each of those areas specific to your circumstances. Make a list of the issues to be resolved. Gathering this information will reveal the weaknesses and strengths of your positions and claims, what you need to investigate further, and what claims or positions and outcomes may be unlikely or unreasonable. Gather financial documents: bank records, pay statements, tax returns, credit card statements, mortgage statements, etc. Review old calendars and records related to parenting. Complete a financial affidavit so you are familiar with your income, expenses, assets, and liabilities.
Third: Decide what things are wants, needs, and aspirations. Once you have a basic understanding of the law and your personal situation, it is time to think about the areas that are most important to you. Is time with the children most important? Is financial security most important? Is preserving retirement assets most important? Is getting through this process quickly most important? Once you know what is most important to you, you then need to make a list of the areas that are less important, and not important at all. Those areas become your leverage and areas of compromise to get you closer to settlement.
Fourth: Finally, be ready to compromise, settle, and move forward on the day of mediation. You need to be prepared that mediation may result in the conclusion of your legal situation and all that entails. If you are divorcing, that could mean that you may be separating bank accounts, coming off family insurance plans (health, dental, auto, etc.), packing up your house, moving to a new residence, changing your children’s schools, and otherwise separating households. You must plan for these major life changes. Waiting until the day of mediation to mentally prepare for the possibility of these changes is often too late and can result in a delay in the resolution of your case. Always come to mediation with the mindset that your case could be resolved by the end of that mediation session and know what could happen next in your day-to-day life if an agreement is signed.
