Every family has conflict and challenges. Families, however, can find ways to communicate and empathize with each other despite the conflict and challenges.
Families who are able to work through conflict typically focus on concerns and outcomes, not positions. Positions are pre-determined and tell the other person you are inflexible and unwilling to listen to what they have to say. Families who communicate effectively do not place a higher priority on being right than they place on the relationship itself. Members of these families acknowledge when the other person is correct and when the other person has made a valid point.
Here are some tips to help you focus on concerns and outcomes:
- Write out your feelings and concerns before discussing them
- Explain to the other person how their behavior is affecting you
- Remove “blame” words from your discussion
- Control your anger
- Be flexible and willing to consider other’s suggestions
- Commit to finding an optimum and workable solution
Unfortunately, even families who communicate well can find themselves going through a divorce. The effective communication skills the family members have developed can still be used in the divorce process.
These families accept the divorce and commit to avoiding conflict
These families keep the children out of the conflict
These families maintain a high level of communication between both parents and the children
These families view future co-parenting responsibilities as a business partnership
Keith Grossman, Esq.
Attorney at Law, Mediator, Arbitrator